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No matter how many things I think about and mull over and get all excited or pissed off about … walking through a kitchen with some fresh food and a bunch of spices and seasonings and all sorts of other delectables all bunched together and a smell that makes you stop and sniff… well, that just makes me not care for minute.

Food is good!

Sometimes it’s hard to say or do what you really think you should do. Sometimes, you get into a looop where you question why you think you should do it, and you think maybe you’re wrong, and you start to worry that it might not work out the way you think.

But none of that matters. But you still end up just standing around and waiting for a miracle or something instead of just jumping in and feeling the water cover you from the tips of your toes to the top of your fool head.

It’s complicated to deal with personal issues. Fernando and I were talking about jealousy and logically thinking about relationships… I get jealous so easy. But I don’t think too much of it because it happens so easy. I get jealous about girls I have never even met (but want to meet). What’s up with that?

I was talking to Tim, too… he was saying that maybe the features we’re naturally attracted to are really just the features that make us want to have sex more for whatever reason… maybe media didn’t completely invent the look, but maybe they just sort of clarified the look.

Maybe.

All I know is the world just doesn’t make things easy on us. And 23 is a lot younger than it seemed 10 years ago.

I went to a nice birthday party last night. There were a lot of young people drinking alcohol (not much beer, and the beer that was there was Tecate! and the alcohol was Tequila!) and laughing and stuff.

At some point, everyone sang a song in Spanish to the birthday girl. Most of the people there were hispanic, btw. The spanish song has way more words than “Happy Birthday to You.” It was a full-on anthem.

People were dancing and laughing and they looked really happy, and oh my how wonderful it all was.

And we talked about the future of the internet and it’s increasing level of commericiallity and we talked about the oneness of all things and we looked at my tattoo a little bit.

Those sorts of things start to happen when I get a couple of cups of margarita in me. Yaa-haa!

the mist clears so the sun can poke its yellow head through to say hello.

at least that’s what I want to happen.
there has been a terrible dense cloud of smog hanging over my town for awhile now. It’s one of the worst ever.
But it’ll clear up eventually, and we’ll be able to stop wearing these masks.

at least they don’t make us buy them… they hand them out to everyone. I suppose it’s the least they could do.

I wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom to cough up some sludge from my lungs into the sink. I have weak lungs. Poor me. And the sky is full of atmospheric disease. And poor me.

My family has not been selected to receive free masks to protect us from the smog. And we can’t afford them, either.

But, I go back to bed anyway, and on to my fragmented dreams… shattered again a few hours later by another bout of coughing.

the homeless problem.

Would you open up your couch to a homeless person?
If everyone did that, the problem would be pretty much solved.

The homeless person could just hang at your place for a few weeks, find a job (using your address and phone number), and then move out when enough money was saved up. I guess that could take a few months… but just think! In a few months, the entire homeless situation could be gone!

If course, more people would become homeless during those few months, but there are more people with homes than without, so things would work out ok… you’d only have to do it once.

But who would do that?
I wouldn’t.

I guess we just don’t care quite enough.
And that really is the problem.

Despite everything that might go on in the world today to ruin my mood, I can still feel good to know that bells and whistles and broomsticks and bullwhips and cats and dogs do exist and that life is still there all around me waiting for me to reach out and listen up and open up and take a peek at what’s there.

No matter what else might happen, someone will fall in love today, and someone will be born today and someone will learn the meaning of life today. Today and every day.

Rain.
It’s raining here.
I live in a desert. Los Angeles. It doesn’t rain much here.

When it does, everything gets all messed up, though, because no one’s prepared for it.

I don’t much care for rain. I suppose I don’t mind it when I’m inside all day, though.

It does make my car look a little more pleasant, though.

Computers suck.
But they don’t try to play games with you when you’re not in the mood.

Not as if I would know I guess.
People are hard to figure out, though.
They don’t follow logical patterns. They don’t even seem to put much thought into their actions for the most part.

People are unpredictable.
I guess that’s why people like cats.
Cats are unpredictable also.

I prefer dogs, though.