idallassleeping less and reading more

I’m a very demanding friend. I expect a lot from people. Not so much from people I don’t know, but once I start to feel comfortable with someone, I don’t like anything to jeopardize that comfort zone. I need as many comfortable emotional spots as I can get…

When someone does something that goes against how I want that person to be… it gets in the way of my comfort. Often, it does lead to a more developed relationship, but sometimes I feel like I can’t deal with it all.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m a whiney dope, too.

I have self-destructive tendencies.
When things seem to be going as good as can be, I start getting failure anxiety… I start worrying that maybe I’m not doing things how I should be, or maybe something terrible is going to go wrong. It’s not so much that I’m pessimistic about things… I start feeling like I should just give up altogether… that there’s no use to it at all.

I worry that I might one day just go nutso and try to just destroy everything I love.

“I love it when a plan comes together.”

The building is ours! The lease has been signed! I made copies of the key and distributed them. Now we have to start on the long trek ahead… moving in, setting up phones, internet, etc, installing alarm system, replacing some carpet, repainting some parts, buying furniture and equipment.

The whole shebang.

New Dream Network World Headquarters and
The Los Angeles Center for the Exploration of Hyper-Modern Art
is born.

Life rotates around our desires and motivations. Life is a series of events resulting from our actions, which are based on those things.

And it is the responsibility of each one of us to figure out what it is that we want. Those desires are the key that unlocks the bounties of beauty life can deliver.

Once you know what you want, you will be happy forever because everyone has the potential to do anything. You have the capacity to take what you want. Others have the capacity to give you what you want, if you let them.

Remember, wants and needs are inherently different animals. I want lots of things that I don’t need. I want the whole world. I don’t need that.