.idallas.com

I almost always act sorta funny on my birthdays. I don’t want people to make a fuss over me. I want attention for who I am, rather than for what day I was born on.

Or something. I dunno.

Today is my birthday!

yay for me!

I am white.
And I am not proud.
I want to be every color of the rainbow, but not white.
I want to be yellow, and have an appreciation for the sun.
I want to be blue, and dive deep into the sea.
I want to be red, and feel the heat of the fire within.
I want to be green, and eat grass and love it!

Any color, please. Any color, but white.

Touch me.
Touch my heart.
Feel my blood pumping through my veins.
Touch my blood-filled membranes.

Taste my sweet, sweet desire,
Welling up in the back of my throat.

You can know me.
Know my heart. Know my scent.
Know my life.
Touch me, taste me. Me.

There is youth all around me, and that keeps me hopeful that maybe things will change one day. Youth is not known for its wisdom, however. We all have a lot to learn. There is a lot to know about the world and about each other.

We struggle just to solve simple social situations… it seems sometimes that any hope of peace among all peoples is a ridiculous waste of time. We can’t even all get along in a small group with so much in common. Maybe we’re just too close already.

Maybe we just care too much…

I like to be in a group of people… I like to feel like I’m a part of something.

I like to… but it’s sort of depressing sometimes, too. I see the people around me, and I think they will have something to offer me emotionally… I think I might be able to get something out of associating with them… but then they turn out to be just another bunch of idiots.

It’s easy for me to just assume they are idiots and not get to know them… sure, that’s easy. But I believe that I really would like to get to know them sometimes…. I believe I might. But then, I just don’t.

Some people really are idiots, right?
And it’s not their fault for following the norm, is it? Isn’t that just what you’re supposed to do?

We hired a stripper for a small birthday party today.

It was sort of surreal… she looked like the “hot” girls you see in tv shows and movies… attractive, busty, curvey… all that.

She rubbed all over Simon. It was fun to watch his reaction, but it wasn’t really especially erotic…

Fun for the whole family.

Why is it that it’s no big deal to see a woman naked? I guess that’s sort of obvious, right? Something about desensitization?

But why is it that most men can’t stand to see an “ugly” woman naked? Or more to the point… why can’t men admit that they are not actually disgusted by the sight of an ugly woman naked? It’s not really that disgusting, is it? It’s just another person with no clothing. You don’t have to feel sexually attracted to every naked person you see…

Do you really have to make a big deal out of it and act like the man in front of the boys?

Can you not just look away? Why do you have to make a comment?

Why is it so hard to eat with a group of 6 people? Or more, I suppose?

I guess it just makes things harder for the eating establishment, and it makes you officially a large group… it takes more than one car … the whole shebang.

I think maybe I will make an effort to minimize the times that I eat in a group that large. It’s ok for special occasions like birthdays or bar mitzvahs, but not for day to day sustenance.

Happy birthday idallas.com!

yesterday was the one year anniversary of your favorite website.

I had a web phenomenon with the idallacam brand webcam.

Unfortunately, Simon and Josh took the camera to make a movie in Venice Beach, so the web cam phenomenon ended early!

It was back up again for a little while tonight. Check back often!