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Is the Internet a collection of the most depressed people around? I think it might be.

But there’s multiple ways to interpret that. Is the Internet making people depressed? Or is it serving as a safe haven of sorts to people who are already depressed? Or both, perhaps? Or am I maybe just coming into contact with the parts of the Internet that are depressed? Or am I maybe just depressed and projecting that onto other people I encounter?

I think there are a lot of depressed people in the world. I don’t think I am one of them. I think sometimes maybe I should be and I am repressing it.

Either way. Communication does not lead to happiness anymore than money does.

All might be lost.
And if that’s the case, there’s nothing more to lose!
We might as well be happy and free like birds.
Except birds are mostly sort of dumb, it seems.

Ok, well not birds, then. Fish! Fish are nice.
We’ll be happy and free like fish.
Except fish are stuck under the water. That’d be cool for awhile (anybody ever watch that cartoon, “The Snorks”?), but I’d want to see my mom eventually, I bet. Ok, no fish, either then.

Well, let’s just be happy and free like naked humans with nothing to do! Like all the other animals!

jump on my jive, again
jig up my juice mind, too.
jew in my cradle, looking up at me.
He doesn’t know what I’m thinking…
but he knows how I feel.

He cries for me.
And the world laughs at him for it.

I cry for you…

The last night of weekly science ever.
Well, for now, anyway.
There were quite a lot of cuties. I didn’t talk to any of them. I did a fair bit of looking, though.

I do a whole lot of looking it seems.

There’s some alive living in the back of my throat. It wants to come out and say hi… but it’s shy.

Wouldn’t you know it?

I realized tonight that I define everything in my life by what I see wrong with it. Everything is a sum of it’s faults… the things about it keeping it from being perfect in my eyes.

That’s almost sick. It also means I’ll never notice anything that really is perfect. Or maybe I will, but I’ll never quite be able to deal with it.

mouse on mars last night
better than expected
live drums add a nice bit of oomph.

they’re into what they’re doing.
I’m happy for them.

Things like that give me hope for the rest of my life.

People let their lives just roll along at some point. I guess that’s what you have to do to keep from feeling useless.

Maybe I’m expecting too much from people. It seems like everyone should actually want to change the world to their liking. But most people just learn to live with what’s there.

dripping juices,
sliding down the dusty window,
murky residue remaining.

erect paper flowers,
blowing in the brisk breeze,
never forgetting.

Jason’s birthday! yay!

here’s an ode to Jason:

tall and skinny
drooling and giggling
rolling down the stairs
and laughing all the way.

that’s just like him!