Some Thoughts I thought on 09.12.98:
I think I am a particular kind of person. I think that another particular kind of person would would be attracted to me. I think that might be true for most people. Our goal, then, I guess, is to try to come into contact with as many of that other particular kind of person as possible so we can try to find one that is very well suited to our own individual lives. That seems troubling. I worry that my normal life path may not cross very many of my particular kind of mate-person. That would not be the fault of anyone, really. If anyone, I guess it would be me.
But, what if I never really realize this problem. What if I just have trouble understanding why I don't seem to be able to get along with other people the way I want to? That could lead to some gross problems with my personality. I could end up having a lot of difficulty relating to other people on any sort of personal level. I could end up terrified of my own voice. That would suck.
We'll hope that doesn't happen. I'll just have to feel comfortable with the thought that if I don't come into contact with someone who might be a good mate for me on a semi-regular basis, then I have to either rethink what it is I'm doing with my life or what it is I think I want from life. Some priority reassessment is in order. That might seem like a lot to try to actually realize all at once. And it is. It takes time to understand anything that's really all that interesting. Sort of strange, that.
Also, what if my physical needs don't coincide with my intellectual needs? What if they are so far out of whack, in fact, that it ends up being almost entirely impossible to find anyone that satisfies my requirements? What does that say about me? Does it say that I am not persistent enough or that I am too picky?