Some Thoughts I thought on 10.15.98:
Nothing makes me think in circles as much as girls do. Nothing else can make me just keep rethinking the same thoughts and cause me to just basically obsess over the tiniest detail. I'm getting better at it, but still I find my attention shift when a pretty girl walks into a room. I become powerless and my mind loses all contact with time and space... for the slightest moment, the rest of the world doesn't exist... it's just me and the girl and we're together in a glorious shower of happiness and beauty... then I snap out of it and she gives me my food and I carry on through the drive-thru... It's not always at drive-thru food establishments, but you get the picture.
So what it is that is so interesting about these worldy beauties? Do they represent an escape from the doldrums of my days? Do they represent beauty in its truest form? Do they just look like they'd be fun to lick up and down? Maybe all those things! And maybe it's deeper than that. Maybe it's really more of an instinctual thing. Maybe the girl just represents a chance at producing more people like me. What a thought!
I guess what really intrigues me about it is how it seems to affect me no matter how hard
I try to avoid it... and that's even with girls who show no signs whatsoever of any interest in me...
as soon as there is the slightest hint of a reciprocal attraction, the whole universe goes
batty. I can't really think very seriously about anything. I spend almost all of my time
trying to figure out how to make myself as interesting as possible and trying to
decode and interpret any possible hints or clues that might have been evident in the actions
of the girl. It's really quite silly, and I know it. But that doesn't help me. And
even though I know it well enough to tell it like this now... I'm still a little distracted
by a girl right now. I hadn't thought of her all day, and then now suddenly she won't go away.