Some Thoughts I thought on 10.27.98:
I keep waking up with the feeling that I've been dreaming about something. That's unusual for me. On top of that, I keep feeling that I've been dreaming that I was discussing some very important issue with a close circle of friends and comrades. It's even more unusual that there would be some sort of pattern to my dreams. Something strange is indeed going on during my sleeptime.

The fact that it feels like I've been discussing something while sleeping has both good and bad sides. First off, it's good because it feels like I've been accomplishing something. I do hate to waste time. It makes me less guilty for sleeping for longer than 8 hours, too. I tend to sleep for 10 hours quite regularly, and I feel guilty about that almost every time I do it. I'm wasting time! As long as I'm actually accomplishing something, though, I don't feel so bad. It's all good, in fact. Or... it would be all good if the feeling of discussing something didn't lead me to the feeling that I should also be sharing the conclusions with the world. I have this terrible idea that I must tell everyone I can possibly tell about everything I have ever thought or realized. It's still amazing to me that I don't get told how annoying I am every day.

Anyway, though... that means that I have been sleeping more and feeling ok about it and also feeling that I should be spending my time trying to figure out what it is I have been discussing so I can tell the world about it. Neither of those things is very good for productivity. I know what you're thinking, though... you're thinking, "fuck productivity!," and I do agree with you. However, I still can't seem to escape my societal programming that tells me that I must spend my time justifying the money people give me. I just feel like I need to be a good member of our capitalistic society. Plus, there are so many things I want to buy!

In the end, though, nothing really changes. I just spent some time telling you all how I wish I had more time to sleep and to think and to be productive and to watch lots of great TV news programs and to see every movie there is and to listen to every album I can and not to mention all those great books pouring forth from the wonderful minds of the people that we live and work among all the time. That's all. Oh, and stop eating meat while you're at it.

daily beating || daily blessing || weekly shine